Talk to me about
brain cancer death

Who are we when our brain is being taken away from us? When something is eating away our brain? When we cannot rely on our thinking anymore?

Such a scary journey. The journey of being consumed by brain cancer. Into cancer death final days. Into dying of brain cancer.

Not to know how long it will take till we notice changes. Not to know what faculty we loose first. Not to know who we will be in the grips of brain cancer.

So often our personality changes. We are becoming someone different than we were. Who will we be? A better person? A more difficult person?

So often we are not able to take care of ourselves anymore. Have to rely on the kindness of strangers. Or be burden to our family members.

So often we cannot interact anymore. Interact with our loved ones. Get lost in our internal world. Is it a pleasant world? Or a harsh world?

Such a scary outlook. Such a scary journey.

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I was called to help Owen during his last week into brain cancer death. He had been living in a generous room in an assisted living facility. He was on hospice, and already had a hospital bed and was not leaving it much.

Owen had been the director of a gambling casino for many years. He wore a golden ring with the six eyes of a dice. His lucky charm. Both at work and in life.

He was on a number of medications to keep him comfortable.

Sometimes he was feeling restless. I sang lullabies from my German childhood to him. He was so appreciative of it. At one point he took my hand and kissed it.

He dozed a lot. When awake he would look around the room with eyes which did not recognize much. He hardly recognized his grown children when they came to visit.

Nights were not easy.

He often did not recognize us caregivers. He felt afraid. Nearly paranoid about not recognizing anyone. Understandably.

One night Owen awoke. He panicked. He wanted out of bed. It was amazing to see the amount of physical strength he could muster in his fear.

Only heavy tranquilizers helped him relax again.

He slipped into a coma for the last day of his life. No need to feel afraid anymore. His brain cancer death was close.

He died in the early morning hours of Easter Sunday. His grown children were with him.

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