What about dealing with death when it is our own?
Dealing with death, especially our own, always happens later. Like having children in my case. My story I always thought that I would start thinking about having children later. As in about two years. It was in about two years when I was 18. It was in about 2 years when I was 25. When I was 28, my two years were up and I found myself pregnant. Completely unplanned and not at all convenient. Career wise. I did a month of soul searching. Then one night in the dark my partner said:"I am feeling irresponsibly overjoyed..." We gave birth to a beautiful boy. Never looked back. 
We can be so busy living that we tend not to take the time to deal with death. Or make the time to deal with our own dying. So many of us end up completely unprepared for such an important event. This page offers a number of different starting points for this journey into our own death. Into dealing with death. Such an important journey. These starting points come in the shape of questions. Questions which don't necessarily have a simple answer. Questions whose answers maybe show up in the middle of the night. When we wake up early to see the sun rise. When we look into our children's eyes. Or the eyes of our old dog. The answers might change. From day to day. From year to year. But they keep coming, when we dare to ask the questions. |
What if answers exist way before the questions? What if the pre-existing answers give rise to the questions so that we can find the answers ready to be discovered through the questions? -A la Dr. Peebles - |
Death is like going home
A death like going home? Death feels so scary. Going home does not feel scary. True.
What about the pain? Going home does not hurt.
True.
What if it is a different kind of going home? One that is always just around the corner from us. A going home we can almost see... But then it is gone.
A going home which feels so right but we don't know why. A going home which keeps calling us but we don't know how to follow. A going home from a place so deep inside of us yet so close. So close.
What would your going home feel like?
Practice dying
How would you practice dying? Lie in a coffin and only close the lid halfway? To practice dying is a common theme in many religions. It is a way to be dealing with death. It is a way to become friends with the Grim Reaper. Maybe not quite friends, but at least acquainted. Maybe on a first name basis.
On a day with few entries in your calendar, imagine knowing that you have only a year to live. Get into it just for a day.
You don't need to imagine having cancer or any debilitating illness. It distracts from the subject. Just imagine having the superpower to know the day you die.
Let's play with the following questions:
If we listen to that quiet inner voice, maybe it will give us an answer to the question above.
If we hear a Yes, there is nothing to worry about. We are ready, and death will come in its own time.
If we hear a No, maybe it is time to contemplate the following questions:
What do I still need to do before I die?
- Forgive others? Forgive myself? Make amends? Express ore love or gratitude?
- Make a will? Clean up my house, apartment, closets?
- Give away things I don't need or want anymore?
- Fill out a Living Will?
- Finish the book I have been working on for so long
- Find my long lost daughter and make peace with her
- Have a BIG birthday celebration and invite everybody I know
- Parachute out of an airplane
- Plant a garden and eat the food
- Go and do a week long silent meditation retreat
- Pass on the knowledge I have gained
- Take the time to retire
- Swim with dolphins
- Get married...again
- Anything else...?
Who Dies?
Have you ever wondered about it? Who actually dies? We know that our bodies die. Either our heart stops. Or our organs fail one after another, till we take our last breath. Or one of the many medically known ways happen, and death happens. All of a sudden the spark called life has left the body. Death has occurred in the body.
But do WE die? And who is this WE?
Can it die? Will it die? If it does not die, what happens to it? Where does it go?
Or can we look at dealing with death through Rumi's eyes when he says: "When have I ever become less by dying..."
Add a link>>>Click here for more on what happens after death...
More Living!
There seems to be a secret around death and dying. A well kept secret, easy to find if we know where to look. So many of the religions talk about it. So many of the really wise women and men know about it. So many of those who went through cancer or any other life threatening disease tell us about it.
What if we can live more fully, once we start dealing with death?
What if life becomes more meaningful, once we make friends with Good Old Death?
What if this secret is available to everyone of us, when we are willing to be open and explore? When we dare to ask uncomfortable questions. When we are open to be surprised by the answers. When we are ready to be dealing with death.
Below are a few more pages to explore related to the subject dealing with death, especially our own:
Do you ever have dreams about dying? Here are a few suggestions as to what they mean and how they can be of use to you. Click on Dreams about Dying
Remember Dying
Sometimes we can remember dying, especially when we are open to the concept of having more than one life. Read my story of when I remembered being with the dying. Click on Remember Dying
Return from Dealing With Death to A Good Dying Home
