How do we face the death of a family member?

Here is a person that we have spent many years together. We share family traits and genes. We share both good and bad times.

We share a common history. Both in this life and in our ancestry. We share the journey of growing up together. We share the journey of being a family. Whatever that means for everyone of us. We share family secrets, both good ones and hard ones.

When a family member dies, so often someone very familiar (what an appropriate word) and very precious is no longer with us. Someone who knows our story. Not only knows it, but was there when it happened. Or close by.

We miss picking up the phone and telling them of our newest grand child. Or the newest installment of the family saga. We miss being able to go home for Christmas. Or Thanksgiving. We miss spending that one week of summer vacation on the beach together.

And now they are gone.

We miss them.

My Grandmother Munne

But to me she was a very loving and gentle person. I guess I could always put a smile on her face as her oldest grandchild.

When she was in her 60s she had leukemia and fairly quickly declined. During the summer holidays my family (my father was her oldest son) we had planned to leave the next day to spend some time with her. We were all packed and ready to go the next morning. Late at nite my dad received a phone call that she was dying quicker than expected.

We left right away, but when we got to her house after a 3 hour drive, Munne had already died. I still remember my father's silhouette standing in the dark with his head bent low after he had received the news of her death. (This was before you had cell phones to use while driving).

I felt especially cheated as I as the oldest grandchild was not allowed to see her one more time before the coffin was closed (there was no open casket viewing in Germany). I felt sad that I did not egt to see her one more time to say good bye. Especially as a child, I wanted to know that she was really dead.

For the longest time I would talk to her, mainly just before falling asleep at night, as if she still was with me. This death of a family member definitely stayed with me for a long time, as it was the first death I can remember.

I am available as an inspirational speaker about all aspects of death including the luminous side of dying for both US and international events. Click here to find out more about my talks and click here to contact me.

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