How do we let go of dying cats?

When they leave us, so much is gone:

No one makes sure that WE wake up early in the morning, so THEY can get their wet food. They absolutely cannot wait for it. No way.

No one curls up to sleep right in the crook of our knees when we go to bed. And when we need to turn onto our other side, they curl right back up on the other side.

No one to express such easy delight at being stroked. A deep purring so we know how good it feels. And so we keep stroking.

No one to come running from across the house as soon as a can is being opened. It could be tuna!

All of that changes with dying cats. They are not hungry anymore. They don't purr anymore when we stroke them. They might hide in a closet and not come out.

Their eyes are dull. They don't clean their fur anymore. Dying cats look scraggly and unkempt. No energy left. Maybe time to go.

Yet it feels so hard to let our dying cats go. We miss them so much.

Cassie's Story

When he wanted attention, he would look for Salita's hand and rub his head against it. That meant, stroke me for as long as I want it. And he usually wanted a lot of touching.

Salita was a computer programmer and worked out of her bed. She had gotten into the habit, when a few years ago Cassie had been really sick and weak. Salita kept him alive by having him lie on her heart day and night.

She had figured out how to use her laptop while laying on her back, so that Cassie could sleep on Salita's chest during the day. She learned how to sleep on her back, so Cassie could keep sleeping on her chest during the night.

Eventually Cassie got better, but he still liked being under the covers. And thanks to Cassie, Salita had found out that she really liked working on her computer from her bed. For a few years this arrangement worked well, although Cassie slowly got weaker. Slowly.

At some point Cassie started using the litter box first every two hours to pee. Then every hour. Every hour at night. That was not easy or Salita. Those were difficult weeks.

Salita got in touch with an animal communicator to find out what was gong on with Cassie and what Cassie's wishes were. The animal communicator told Salita that Cassie had stayed around for so many years because of his love for Salita. He would have left many years earlier, if not for his love for Salita.

The animal communicator also told Salita that Cassie was ready to go, and that he would accept some help to die.

Salita called a vet who made house calls to work specifically with dying animals. That way the sick animal could stay in their own environment and no additional stress was created for the animal by having to go to a clinic.

The vet came and and saw Cassie. The diagnosis was kidney failure and that Cassie was a dying cat. After quite a long conversation Salita came to the decision of letting the vet put Cassie to sleep.

It took Salita months to get over the her cat's dying. Cassie had been such a close and constant physical companion that she missed him very much. She cried many tears over his absence.

Even though there was more space and freedom in Salita's life. Even though she could finally sleep through the night again. Even though she could now leave her home for a day, a week, a month without needing to arrange special cat sitters.

She still missed him. And still cried.

She would go through moments of doubt. Doubt whether she had done the right thing in helping Cassie die. Doubt whether it had been his time to go.

She still missed him.

Even today there are moments when she still misses him.

But not as often.

And not as much.

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