What about dying of a disease?

Something is not working right in our bodies.

We know it because we feel pain. We know it because we have seen our doctors. They gave us a diagnosis. We have received various treatments. We know it because our bodies are getting weaker instead of stronger.

We are dying. Dying with a disease in our bodies.

It feels scary. As if someone scary has moved into our home. Not even into the guest room. Or the basement. No, right into our living room. Permanently. Won't go away. Always reminding us of their presence.

We feel powerless. Out of control. Helpless. In the face of such a permanent visitor. Right inside out bodies. Such a silent visitor. A destructive visitor. A painful visitor. An unwelcome visitor.

The plans we made are changed. We won't have the time to enjoy our hard earned retirement. We won't be able to watch our children grow up. We won't be able to finish the degree we so passionately worked for.

The dreams we had will remain unlived. We won't hold the first grandchild in our own arms. We won't write the book we already wrote in our head. We won't see the African desert bloom.

Instead we get to live with an unwelcome visitor day and night. One that will accompany us till the moment we take our last breath. One that will most likely be the cause of our death.

How do we make peace with this unwelcome visitor? How do spend our last months, weeks and days in peace with this unwelcome visitor?

All very good questions.

What if making peace with the fact that we are dying of a disease is important? What if it is important so that we can have a good dying? So we can go home at peace with ourselves? With our loved ones? And with our bodies who let this stranger in?

I am available as an inspirational speaker about all aspects of death including the luminous side of dying for both US and international events. Click here to find out more about my talks and click here to contact me.

We don't want you to go so soon. We don't want to loose you to this silent stranger. Who just moved in with you. Without asking for permission. Without even paying rent.

We feel angry at this unwelcome stranger. Get out of my loved ones body! Who asked you to just move in and wreak havoc? Who asked you to take over my loved one's body and destroy it?

We feel powerless about this ruthless stranger. We feel at a loss. We feel scared.

How do we let you go?

How do we let you go into the arms of this silent stranger? This dying of a disease? Into the arms of death. How do we do that?

We don't want to loose you so soon. So soon.


Book: "How We Die: Reflections on Life's Final Chapter" by Sherwin Nuland

I have chosen a few of the more common ways to die of a disease for more detailed descriptions, personal stories and the opportunity to add your own story.

For this website I am less concerned with the medical facts, and more interested in the stories. The stories of loved ones dying. The stories of what it feels like to loose someone to cancer. To dementia. To congestive heart failure. What does it feel like?