Irreverent and Hilarious
Quotations About Dying

Sometimes what we really need are some irreverent and hilarious quotations about dying to bring some light and humor to a subject which can easily be dark and gloomy.

Death | Life | Forgiveness | Comfort | Rest in Peace | Grief and Loss
Gratitude | Tears | Fear | Spiritual

dolphin, bottleneck, smiling

OK, granted, for most of us death and dying are sad and possibly depressing subjects. Partly because we associate them with loss and sorrow. Partly because we don't know much about these particular subjects. And partly because they feel like something completely out of our personal control.

Because of all that darkness associated with these subjects, I felt there needed to be some balance. Irreverent and hilarious quotations about dying offer insights and thoughts on the lighter side of death and dying. And about life in general.



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The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.

- Albert Einstein -



dolphin, bottleneck, smiling




I'd rather be dead
than singing "Satisfaction"
when I'm forty-five.

- Mick Jagger -



dolphin, bottleneck, smiling




Either he's dead or
my watch has stopped.

- Groucho Marx -



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Many of our prayers were not answered,
and for this we are now grateful

- William Feather -



dolphin, bottleneck, smiling




It is a fact that although the Death of the Discworld is,
in his own words, an ANTHROPOMORPHIC PERSONIFICATION,
he long ago gave up using the traditional skeletal horses,
because of the bother of having to stop all the time
to wire bits back on.

-Terry Pratchett -



dolphin, bottleneck, smiling




Death is caused
by swallowing
small amounts of saliva
over a long period of time.

- George Carlin -



dolphin, bottleneck, smiling




Laughter is the shortest distance
between two people.

- Victor Borge -



dolphin, bottleneck, smiling




Time is a great teacher,
but unfortunately
it kills all its pupils.

- Hector Berlioz -






If my doctor told me
I had only six minutes to live,
I wouldn't brood.
I'd type a little faster.

- Isaac Asimov -



dolphin, bottleneck, smiling




I think we should look forward
to death more than we do.
Of course everybody hates to go
to bed or miss anything
but dying is really
the only chance we'll get to rest.

- Florynce Kennedy -



dolphin, bottleneck, smiling




I am ready to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared
for the great ordeal of meeting me
is another matter.

- Winston Churchill -



dolphin, bottleneck, smiling




Don't take life too serious.
You'll never escape it alive anyway.

- Elbert Hubbard -



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If you die in an elevator,
be sure to push the UP button.

- Sam Levenson -



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Frisbeetarianism is the belief
that when you die,
your soul goes up on the roof
and gets stuck.

- George Carlin -



dolphin, bottleneck, smiling




Never knock on Death's door:
Ring the doorbell and run
(he hates that).

- Anonymous -






We cannot hold back
a good laugh any more
than we can the tide or dying.
All three are forces of nature.

- William Rotsler -



dolphin, bottleneck, smiling




I don't mind dying,
I'll gladly do that,
but not right now,
I need to clean the house first.

- Astrid Lindgren -



dolphin, bottleneck, smiling




One of the keys to happiness
is a bad memory.

- Rita Mae Brown -



dolphin, bottleneck, smiling




There is nothing frightening
about an eternal dreamless sleep.
Surely it is better than
eternal torment in Hell
and eternal boredom in Heaven.

- Isaac Asimov -



dolphin, bottleneck, smiling




That would be a good thing for them
to cut on my tombstone:
Wherever she went, including here,
it was against her better judgment.

- Dorothy Parker -



dolphin, bottleneck, smiling




We are trying to unravel the Mighty Infinite
using a language which was designed
to tell one another where the fresh fruit was.

- Terry Pratchett -



dolphin, bottleneck, smiling




I have a piece of great
and sad news to tell you:
I am dead.

- Jean Cocteau -



Art Prints




Death | Life | Forgiveness | Comfort | Rest in Peace | Grief and Loss
Gratitude | Tears | Fear | Spiritual

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