How do I deal with
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When we face loved ones dying, life gets put on hold. At least for a while. It kind of stops. In mid flow.We shared so much. We talked on the phone or visited. We told each other how our day went. We made plans. We knew each others faults. We knew each other's strengths. We knew our favorite foods. We felt the love.
All that is changed. Gone. Over.
How do we make it through this day? This week. This month? There is such a big hole. Such an empty space.
How do we go on seeing our loved one dying? How do we go on after they have died? How do we go on without them?
How do we make sense of life after they are gone? What is left?
We have our grief. Our sadness. Our tears.
We have the memories. We have the stories.
We have our stories of our loved one dying. These special stories so rarely told. So rarely shared.
Yet so important.
Important stories in a world where dying so often happens behind closed doors.
In a world where we are not used to grieving openly and publicly.
In a world where dying seems less honored than being born.
Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality. - Emily Dickinson - |
about all aspects of death including the luminous side of dying for both US and international events. Click here to find out more about my talks and click here to contact me. |
Some Hard QuestionsWhen we have faced loved ones dying, a special person is gone from our lives. Gone for good.
Maybe it was a grandmother who raised us when mom was working to make ends meet. Maybe it was a husband who had just joined us in retirement and we were going to travel (and conquer) the world together. Maybe it was a lifelong best friend and baseball chum who saw us through several lovers, wives and divorces.
They are gone, and all we have left are memories. Are stories. Are pictures. Are questions.
Why did they have to die now? Why would God do such a thing? Why is my loved one dying now? Why did this happen to me? Can there be a God, if such sad or terrible things happen? If there is no God, what am I left with?
What if these questions are gifts Gifts like precious jewels Given to us by our loved ones dying For safe keeping and deep searching? |
More Pages on Loved Ones Dying
Here are a few pages with stories of those who have lost a loved one to death:
You were here before I even existed. You were here my whole life. Always. My body is made of your body and your genes and your ancestry. My values were yours to start with. So is my outlook on life. So is the way I express my emotions. Or don't express my emotions. Click here for stories about the Death of a Parent
The Death of a Spouse
We have some history together: We meet. We fall in love. After a while we decide to share our lives. We spend a number of years working out the kinks. Maybe a large number of years. Together we build a house, a career, a family, a social life.
Click here for stories about the Death of a Spouse
The Death of a Family Member
When a family member dies, it can feel like a thief breaking into our home and stealing our favorite jewels. Here is a person that we have spent many years together. We share family traits and genes. We share both good and bad times.
Click here for stories about the Death of a Family Member
The Death of a Friend
The death of a friend is different than the death of a family member. A family member loves us because we are part of package deal as in "feathers of a kind". A friend loves us for who we are. Click here for stories about the Death of a Friend
How do we say goodbye when the good is gone and all that is left is the bye How do we finish the race when there is no race and all that is left is the finish How do we find a way home when the way is lost and all that is left is the home - Ulla Mentzel - |
Return from Loved Ones Dying to A Good Dying Home
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